Daisy

I really miss my mama. I don't think of her often, only because I totally shut down emotionally when I do. I have so many responsibilities its hard to just lay there and take in all the memories and grieve. I usually coast just fine and then, "BAM," I get sideswiped and I'm down for the count. I wouldn't be writing this if it wasn't for the movie, "P.S., I love You." My husband rented it to appeal to my hopeless romantic soul, but of course, it went a lot deeper than that. The movie disturbed the numb, distant, sea of denial that seems to stay stagnant until I think about my mama. I have been a wreck. If I didn't have 4 little ones running around, I'd probably sit in a corner and rock myself. I don't know how to control this part of me, yet, and I don't think I ever will. God won't let me forget, but He's so clever and kind with how to move me out of myself to feel the moment and then let it pass.

My mama's name was Daisy. And just like the flower, she had a simple beauty. She was strict but she was also compassionate and kind. I remember her soft cheeks, mahogany skin, and radiant smile. She used to buy me cherry lifesavers and let me eat them all by myself, I didn't have to share with my siblings. She always kept the family together and sacrificed for anyone just to let them know that they were worth something.
I'm sad that I didn't get to say goodbye and I'm crushed that she missed out on her grandchildren and the love of my life. But I KNOW that she is in heaven and I get to see her again someday. I'm so comforted that she accepted Jesus in her heart and left a legacy for me and generations to come. I love you, mama, and I miss you so much!

Happy Mother's Day