Unfailing Love

"Many are the woes of the wicked, but the LORD's unfailing love surrounds the man who trusts in him." Psalm 32:10

The ebb and flow of the Lord's timing in my current circumstances have blown me away. There have been many times I wondered what God was "smoking" to think that I could handle all the stress that has come. But I am humbled at the thought that He would consider allowing me the responsibility to handle the life He's customized for me. I only say with regret that I wish I would've trusted Him more and just let go of my inhibitions. I'm overwhelmed with gratitude that in spite of my doubt and constant speculation, God in His infinite mercy has quieted my mind and questioning heart with His peace. If you know me, you know that I like structure and answers before the task is given, my expectations are impossible and that was where I usually go wrong. There is no way to be at peace with what God has planned for me if I am constantly telling Him how I would like my life. He knows what is best and He allows the good and the bad to shape and mold maturity in me. I can admit now that I'm not comfortable and I don't like how it feels but after going through the process I realize that I can trust God more in chaotic times. I know I get so weary when my lovelies whine and complain as I give them tasks that will teach them responsibility or help mature them. And sadly sometimes, I just give up. But not the Lord! He has never given up on me, He patiently waits on me. Its not He that leaves, it is I who leave and accuse Him of abandoning me. When I come to my senses, I realize how far I've wandered and lost my way. At that moment all I need to do is stop where I'm at, close my eyes and turn in the direction of His voice as He calmly leads me back to Him. In no time I can see Him in the distance and I pick up the pace and run into His loving arms.